Find your tribe

I would consider myself a strong woman, an independent woman and a woman who cheers when other women succeed. But this isn’t something that happened overnight. I believe the strength of a woman comes from the tribe of women she surrounds herself with.

I will never understand why women watch another succeed and see it as a threat or something negative. We, as women, need other women in our lives to lift us up, show encouragement, give advice and remind each other how much of a badass we all are. Often times the world won’t do it for us. We may be overshadowed, treated as less than, stereotyped and not seen as strong because it’s shown in a more gentle way. To have our voices heard, we must have others on our side that see strength and power in what we bring to the table.

I recently went to a talk at my job by Elizabeth Griffith, director of engineering for Faurecia Interior Systems. She was talking about the importance of diversity in every team. But at the end of her talk she spoke directly on the topic of being a career women. Her direct words were "Women, stop overthinking things. Stop thinking you aren’t good enough." Repeat that. Every woman has something to bring to the table, and I believe it is our job as women to remind each of that every day.

I am lucky enough to be surrounded by so many strong, courageous, risk-taking, generous, take-charge, gentle, kind and born-to-be-leaders, women. I look to a group of women every day to get advice on work questions, how to do something better, how to be better, how to react in a way that is appropriate and respectful and how to show my strength. I had a group of women that surrounded me on my wedding day to pray with me and encourage me. I am honored to know and have some sort of a relationship with women who are CEOs or presidents of organizations or in leadership positions to learn from. I have a group of women who I know I can always talk life with and laugh with when it’s needed over a glass of wine. Still today, women need each other.

I am thankful to have a male boss who gets it. He actually leads a team of mostly women and he sees their worth and knows they have a voice. But it’s not always like that. Women may be seen as "sassy" where men are seen as "taking charge." It happens all the time. Andrea Houston, Award-Winning CEO at Artitudes Design, recently wrote an article title "Leading Like a Woman." In it she quotes some startling data.

"Women are underrepresented in leadership roles. According to Harvard Business Review, only 3% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women, and just over 5% of executives in Fortune 500 companies are women. The Women Presidents’ Organization, or WPO, reports that only 3% of women-owned businesses gross over a million dollars a year, worldwide."

It’s time we start realizing the power of women in leadership. That starts with us, the successful, powerful, authentic, intelligent, wise and courageous women. We need to start leading by example, seeing our own worth and the worth of other women. Listen to each other’s ideas. Help each other grow and be successful. Remind each other why they can make a difference wherever they are in life.

I highly recommend reading the rest of "Leading Like a Woman." She writes, "Successful leaders are the power and intellect behind their organizations. Successful women leaders don’t rely on favors; they earn respect and truly believe they can influence their own advancement by serving others."

Find your tribe. Find women mentors. Find those women who can lift each other up and remind each other why women are needed to lead, to serve, to create, to advise and to be who they were created to be.

Be still, my soul

“Life is good. Busy, but good.”

Sound familiar?

At the beginning of the year I wrote the obligatory “What I learned last year” post in my attempt to get back into blogging. I wrote it in a Word document and there it still sits. This is a perfect example of one of the biggest lessons and revelations I want to have in 2018. I want to learn to be in the moment, to stop being “so busy” and to simply rest and do more things that bring out my creativity.

Why do so many of us believe that being busy is the same thing as having purpose? So often when people ask me how I am doing I respond with “Busy, but good.” It’s almost automatic. Why do I think being so busy all the time equals purpose and productivity?

I work a 9-5 job (sometimes evenings and weekends added). I’m on two boards, I run a non-profit community cookout, I’m a wife, a friend and I try my best to stay in shape. But how does any of that matter if I’m tired, exhausted and always thinking ahead to what my next task or event is? One of the things I appreciate about my husband is that when he is with a colleague, a business associate, a friend, he is 100% in that meeting. He pushes everything else away and is fully in that moment. That moment is the only thing that matters at that time. We should all be more like that. That would show people, friends, family, strangers, that they are the most important thing to us at that moment. I want to have more conversations with people I care about. I want to truly listen to how their day was and how life is going. I want to take time to blog and write and think and create. My hope is that I will begin to stop worrying about what is next and see what is right in front of me.



Bob Goff, author and public speaker (and a very inspiring human being), said “It’s easy to confuse a lot of activity with a purposeful life. Do what lasts; let the rest fall away.”

When all is said and done, will someone appreciate and remember my time with them or my time away from them? When I think of how I want to spend my time and my life I see these words: “Be still, my soul.” Be still. Easier said than done. For anyone who has known me for any length of time will realize that being still is not my strong suit. But this is a different kind of still. This is about being present. Focusing on what is right in front of me, and knowing that will set my future.

Be still, my soul.

I moved to Flint … really

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."- Margaret Mead

“Really?”

“Why would you do that?”

“You should buy a gun.”

(Insert confused look here)

Those are all reactions I have gotten when I told someone I moved to downtown Flint.

Yes, really. I made the conscious decision to move downtown. That’s the only place I wanted to be. The city. The people. The change. The community. It was all something I couldn’t wait to be a part of.

Let me tell you something about this city. It has character and it has heart. It may also be a little rough around the edges, but there is nowhere else I would rather be.

I grew up in Swartz Creek. I spent the last five years living in Grand Blanc. And now, for the last month, I have lived a couple of blocks from the heart of downtown Flint.

Yes, there is violence in Flint. There is also violence in Grand Blanc and in Swartz Creek. I don’t live my life in fear.

The Flint I know is filled with positive changes like the new Farmers’ Market downtown, new businesses downtown and universities like UM-Flint and Kettering that are working together to make a drastic impact in the community.

I see organizations and nonprofits showing their heart and passion for the people of this city by fixing up houses or bringing hope.

I work downtown. I spend my money and my free time downtown and in the city. I believe a big change is coming. So in my mind moving to Flint was the best decision I could make.

I’m not naïve. We have a long way to go. More blight needs to be eliminated. The violence in the neighborhoods needs to stop. We need more jobs and more opportunity in Flint. The community needs more hope. I believe that is coming. I believe it’s already here.

Please, do me a favor. When you choose to react to me moving to Flint, take the time to come see what this city has to offer first.

You might be surprised.

Flint Community Cookout: What we do. Why it matters.

It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little - do what you can.  ~Sydney Smith

If you know me even a little, I bet you’ve heard me mention the Flint Community Cookout.

The cookout has been a part of my life for three years. My first experience was in January, 2012. It was cold … really cold. And the wind was blowing so hard that I couldn’t walk at one point.

And yet, I stayed. And I kept coming back. Month after month.

I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you why. Why I stay involved, why it’s become a big part of my heart and why you should know a little more about what we are all about.

Let’s start about what the Flint Community Cookout isn’t. It isn’t a feeding program. It isn’t a task, an obligation, an event to feed the homeless or do our “good deed” for the month.

Ok, now let’s talk about what the Flint Community Cookout is and what we do.

It started in the fall of 2010 by a group of college students as a way to create a community to lift each other up and show everyone they have value. Through a few changes in leadership, the cookouts live on. And the purpose is still the same – to create a community.

A community filled with every kind of character. We hang out with people who are homeless, residents of the neighborhood, college students, young professionals, business owners and anyone else who wants to join us.

We pull a grill – a really big grill – downtown to Riverbank Park. We grill burgers – close to 300 in the summer – and hot dogs and have ourselves a picnic. It’s a potluck style gathering. Everyone pitches in, brings a side dish or dessert, helps set up and tear down.

It’s a community. A family.

It has a purpose. The focus is not the food. Yes, it’s what gets people there. But that’s not the reason we show up every last Saturday of the month, no matter what the weather.

It’s about being there. It’s about showing God’s love to everyone, showing them their story is important and that they have value.

I have learned so much during my time with the Flint Community Cookouts. I learned that everyone has a story. There is more than face value to every person. Everybody wants a chance to be heard, to be listened to, to share a meal. Because sharing a meal is much more important that serving a meal.

If you have ever come to a cookout, you will quickly learn we don’t have tasks for you to do and there aren’t many opportunities to “serve.” Because all we need you to do is coming with an open mind, a hungry stomach and the willingness to meet someone new and start up a conversation.

That’s what it’s all about. Community. Love.

I’ve learned that a hello, a smile and the willingness to pray with someone go a very long way. I’ve learned that not everything will go perfect, but it will go just the way it should. I’ve learned that stepping outside of your box will help you grow tremendously… and it will bring you a lot of new friends.

I’ve also learned that it takes a community to create a community. So let’s talk about why I’m writing this.

A ministry like this takes funds and resources. We would love to bring more activities to the cookouts. We would love to make sure we have enough food for everyone every month. We would love to see the Flint Community Cookouts grow.

If we buy everything that needs to be bought each month – burgers, hot dogs, buns, silverware, a few side dishes, condiments, charcoal, grilling supplies, gas for our van and many other things – it could cost up to $400 a month.

By God’s grace we have always gotten what we needed, but I would like to ask for your help. Are you looking for something to help fund this year? Something that will make a difference in the community?

If this is something you would like to help fund, you can easily do so at this link: https://www.crowdrise.com/flintcommunitycookout

The cookouts are funded through the non-profit GoodJustice. If you need more information, please don’t hesitate to ask.

I’ll end by saying one more thing. The Flint Community Cookouts have changed how I view the community of Flint and how I view people. If you want to check out what it’s all about, please feel free to join us the last Saturday of every month from 1 to 4 p.m. in Riverbank Park.

You won’t regret it.

Our words. Our choices. Our impact.

"Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble."

I've noticed something lately.  We too often underestimate the power of our words.

How often do you read something on social media or listen to a group of people talking and there is more negative than positive, uplifting conversations? If I'm being honest, I'm tired of it.

When did impatience, judgment, assuming the worst and selfishness take over? When did wanting to prove that your opinion was the only right opinion become more important than trying to understand another person?

There is a difference between a discussion and a debate. Why must being right overrule the basic principle of understanding, kindness or love?

Now, if you know me you know I probably (OK, definitely) use Facebook a lot. Maybe too much. But it's defeating and exhausting to see so many people posting things on their timeline that have to do with starting a debate just to argue with people who don't share their same opinion, or to put someone down and to shame them in a public forum.

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." ~ Proverbs 12:18

What that says to me is you have two choices: You can cut like a sharp sword or you can bring healing. You can add to the darkness or become a light in the darkness.

To me, it seems like the choice is obvious. Everyday we have a choice. We can choose to uplift, encourage, share a smile or we can choose to put people down, debate things that don't really matter, be hateful and discouraging just for the sake of our egos.

I'm reading the book "Love Does" by Bob Goff. There are so many things I could share with you from this book. But the one thing that is relevant to this blog post is from the 12th chapter. It's all about the power of our words.

And at the end of the chapter he says this: "Words of encouragement are like that. They have their own power. And when they are said by the right people, they can change everything. What I've found in following Jesus is that most of the time, when it comes to who says it, we each are the right people. And I've concluded something else. That the words people say to us not only have shelf life but have the ability to shape life."

My challenge to you is to think before you type, before you speak, before you write. Ask yourself "Will this discourage someone or encourage them?" I challenge you to encourage people this week. To only use your words to bring light into the darkness.

What is the point otherwise?

Life is more than us. Life is better together.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without bordersLet me walk upon the watersWherever You would call meTake me deeper than my feet could ever wanderAnd my faith will be made strongerIn the presence of my Savior"

Over the past few months I’ve been reminded on a number of occasions how precious life is, how quickly life can change and what it means to live life to the fullest.

I don’t think people will remember us for how much money we had or how if we had the latest and greatest gadgets. They won’t remember us for always having the cleanest house or car or how good we were at our jobs.

In the end, I believe we will be remembered for our hearts, for how much we loved and how much we cared for the people who surround us.

In July I had the amazing honor of meeting Jennifer Hutcheson. Jennifer was a beautiful person inside and out. Her spirit was full of life and her smile could light up a room. (Read Jennifer's story here)

Here’s the thing, Jennifer had so many reasons, so many excuses, to be mad, sad or frustrated. But she wasn’t.

For the past nine years Jennifer was fighting cancer. She had lost a lot of weight. She was in constant pain. She was weak and her hair had fallen out several times.

Jennifer was strong, she was a fighting and a warrior. And she could teach us all a lot about life.

After waiting five years to marry the love of her life, she became Mrs. Jennifer Korth on July 6 with close family and friends. She said her I do’s in a wheelchair, but she never looked more beautiful.

On Aug. 6 Jennifer passed away. But a few things she said in July stuck with me.

Her advice for life was very simple.

"Try not to be so wound up on the stuff you're going through. Everybody thinks what they're going through is the worst thing. Try to do something good for someone else. The way I live is I want for myself just to leave the world better than it was before. I don't know if I've done that, but I'm trying," she said. "Smile, even when it sucks. I smile to make other people's day change.

"Just remember, other people are going through stuff around you."

I hope that I am willing to take risks in my life that when an opportunity to live an extraordinary life comes my way, I will say yes without hesitation.

Can you imagine what life would be like if we believed that life is meant for so much more than is what in front of our eyes? If we believed that we could do things so much bigger than our imaginations?

We were never created to live ordinary lives. We were not created to sit by and make our lives better when people are out there suffering. We were put here on this earth to serve and to work together to make life amazing and filled with love.

Life will never be perfect. Neither will we.

But I hope that I can look at each and every day and know that I didn’t just “get through it.” I hope each day I wake up and ask how can I impact those I will come in contact with.

Because what is the point of living if it’s only to make ourselves happy?

The beauty of Flint: What it taught me

Flint.

I love this city. At the same time I’m sad for this city. I’m sad that so many people can’t see its potential or that some people can’t realize that it’s not the city it once was.

It’s changing. And there are so many people and organizations that want to see great things happen in the city.

But, you see, I used to be that person that was a little unsure about Flint. So much has changed over the past few years. And I’ve learned so much.

I’ve been put out of my comfort zone, talked to complete strangers, took over a community cookout with some friends, helped create a blog to tell stories of people who have lived on the streets (Flint Stories Project).

I have been changed. Flint has changed me. Flint’s people have changed me.

Here is what I have learned:

• Everyone has a story. Listen to it. Learn from it. Don’t judge.
• If we want to see Flint changed, we MUST take action. Talking about it and brainstorming about it is not good enough. Change never happened by simply talking about it.
• Being committed and continuing to show up even when it’s inconvenient for you makes a bigger difference than you know. Allow people to trust in what you believe.
• Some people you meet downtown will be crazy. Love them anyways.
• Some people will make you uncomfortable. Being in your comfort zone isn’t as great as it sounds. Being uncomfortable helps you grow.
• Doing great things in Flint or in any city will not be easy. It is stressful. But it will be worth it.
• Be open to suggestions. Things can always be improved. But hold on to your vision and your purpose.
• Try and go with the flow. Things will change. Things will not always go as planned. It is OK.
• Try new things anyways.
• Flint is beautiful. The people are beautiful. They are just looking for a little hope and people who care.

If you haven’t been to Flint in awhile, do yourself a favor and get downtown. Check out the new Flint Farmers Market. You will not be disappointed. Check out the coffee shops and restaurants downtown.

Take a look around. See what cool things are being done.

I have seen friends put flower planters around the city encouraging others to fill them. Guess what? People did.

Forge Flint was created last year by an amazing group of people to bring groups to Flint to fix up homes and the community. Guess what? It has been hugely successful. Lives have been changed.

There are many other groups and people that have been doing things for years to make this community better. Why not join them instead of joining the masses who just talk about change?